New Bedford – Another owl attack has taken place in a local backyard, and the victim is an award winning hairdresser. It’s been over a year and a half since the previously reported attack.
Veterinarians were called to the scene when a neighbor in an adjoining yard reported finding several injured owls on her back deck. She was dialing the number when another owl was tossed over the fence and landed at her feet.
The victim, a DASH Award recipient, has several minor lacerations. “There’re nothing,” she said, “barely more than I get when I accidentally cut myself while styling a client’s hair.” When asked if she needed an ambulance, she bragged “I don’t even need a bandaid, which is more than I can say for the owls.”
She went on to say that while she was smoking outside on her deck, several owls swooped in and tried to grab her cigarette out her hand. “I don’t know why,” she claimed, “We just moved here, and I haven’t had anything to do with owls since the last incident. I don’t even know how they found me!”
She said that she picked up her ashtray stand and started batting the owls away. Several went over the fence into the neighboring yards. The ashtray stand doesn’t appear to be damaged.
“I’m an award winning hairdresser!” she blurted, “The owls should learn to respect that.”
The vet reported seeing several indications of surveillance by owls in the area. “Oh, yes!” he explained, “They set up these wide-eye-owl networks across the city. You see them on roof tops, in trees, sometimes on telephone poles and church steeples. If they are looking for someone, they’ll find him or her.”
Apparantly, the system worked, and they found their nemesis, the smoking hairdresser.
Asked why the owls would be seeking this victim, he said “I don’t know. She must have done something to them. They learned from the elephants, and never forget. And they are not fond of owl haters that smoke.”
It’s a good thing she didn’t smoke near an elephant.
The victim claimed innocence, saying that since moving, she’s had no contact with owls except for her husband’s owl-shaped candle and coin bank. “We recently packed them up and put them away until next season.” she reported.
None of the owls were conscience at the time of this report, but the word is they are all now recovering quietly at a safe location.
